Want A Lie In But Your Pet Won't Let You? We Have A (seriously over engineered) Solution!
While taking a break from the pre-Christmas December madness, we were sat down talking about all the dumb things we do because of our pets.
The conversation turned to how our pets have developed a range of tactics to get us out of our beds and feed them – especially it seems, on the weekend or colder winter mornings! Denying us the chance to snatch a couple of hours extra, well-deserved sleep!
My first cat, Chaz, was a master at Wakey-Warfare. His strategy was to jump up on the bed and trample all over my body and head. If no response was coming, then sit beside my head placing his muzzle next to my ear and purr loudly, of course tickling my ear with his whiskers at the same time.
If still no response then Chaz would reach out and lightly scratch me on the nose.
By now I would be awake enough to deploy a countermeasure and pull the duvet up higher and cover my head with a pillow. Chaz’s reaction was to jump on the pillow and stomp on my head for a while.
I would remain motionless, calling his bluff. But Chaz would adapt his tactics and go ominously quiet for a while, lulling me into a false sense of security. Just long enough for me to doze off.
But what he was really doing was scanning my defences for vulnerabilities and waiting for the right moment. Any exposed flesh would get the ‘light scratch’ treatment. If no flesh was on show, then he’d hustle up alongside my pillow roll on his side and start ‘fishing’ underneath with an outstretched paw (and claw) for my hidden face. His persistence was remarkable.
This excruciatingly annoying game of “cat and mouse” would continue for about 30 minutes until I eventually gave in and Chaz got his biscuits.
That was until I developed an effective resistance. I called it the ‘Cat Helmet’ and I’m happy to share it with you in the name of the weekend lie in.
The Cat Helmet is a simple design requiring three pillows. Place one pillow length ways on each side of your head and shoulders, then pull the third one over the top (leaving a small gap for air). With your head safety protected on all sides pull up the duvet and the cat helmet defence is complete. Bam! No more death by a thousand cuts.
(I was feeling pretty smug until someone pointed out that a more effective deterrent would have been to lock Chaz in the laundry overnight!)
So what crazy stuff do you do because of your pets? Do you sleep on the curled up on the corner of your mattress while your dog stretches out across up the entire bed? Or give up your bean bag and sit on a hard floor because your kitty is curled up asleep?
We’d love to hear your stories. Have a great week!